Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
