I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
