Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
