i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
