well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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