you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
