i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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