Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
