I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
