my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
