I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
