coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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