Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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