I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
