Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
