you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
