I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
