you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
