it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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