i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
