they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
