Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
