i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
