Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
