I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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