I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
