You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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