David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
