i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
