The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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