Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
