I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
