That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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