I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
