I wannas sexs uuuuu
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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