theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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