Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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