i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
