pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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