i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
