Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
