shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
