if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
