I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
