im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
