Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize