How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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