Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
