I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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