8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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