So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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