Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
