best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
