like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just cropdusted the office
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
soo... how was my night?
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