Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
