I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
