Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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