I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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