if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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