I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
