we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
