You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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